“Went out for a romantic dinner with the then-wife. She was being unusually flirty, showing cleavage, goes to rest room, brings back panties in her hand and gives to me. Says she couldn’t wait to get back home, etc. So, arrive back home. She tells me to meet in the basement where we have our entertainment room and tv while she changes into something for the evening. Huge boner. Go down the stairs, start taking off my pants. Surprise!!!! About 30 friends in the basement for an early surprise b-day party. I fell backwards on the stairs, could feel my heart racing and barely covered boner (fortunately) rapidly deflating. Would rather have had the intended evenings activities. And didn’t end up getting any b-day sex.”

“A girlfriend of mine punched her aunt in the face and broke her nose because she jumped out right in front of her when they yelled surprise. One hospital trip later, they decided not to throw surprise parties anymore.”

“A few years back we threw one for my uncle Tommy. It was gonna be at the elks club where he was vice president or some dumb shit like that so we all got set up and ready to go. We are waiting and they were supposed to arrive at 6. It got to be 7:30 and we were getting worried. Turns out my aunt was taking my uncle to the park for a romantic walk and then she would take him to the club and he’d be shocked as fuck, but they got into this huge fight and he wanted to go home. Eventually she convinced him to come (the excuse was he left his hat there and it was an expensive hat, she actually had to steal his hat in the middle of the night and drop it off at the club so the excuse would have truth to it) and when he walked in he said “Yeah i heard her talking about this three fuckin weeks ago, I told the witch I didn’t want a party and here we go, a fuckin party.” He knocked all the presents off the table, punched the cake, and left. He filed for divorce the next week and then moved to Florida.”

“One time my mom told me that we were running low on funds so we couldn’t have a birthday party and that the best we could do is take me to McDonalds with my friend(we’ll call him jack). We get to Jacks house and mom tells me that he is out at his pool. I walk over to the gate outside and twenty people jump out and are all like “SURPRISE!” I’m confused as fuck. I walk over to Jack and ask him if he’s ready to go to McDonalds and my mom had to pull me off to the side and explain it was a surprise birthday party… I am not a smart man.”

“We threw a surprise party for my brothers 30th birthday. We did such a good job planning it that he didn’t even have any idea it was for him. My sister’s birthday is about 10 days before my brother’s, so we told him we were throwing a surprise party for her, since it was before his birthday we figured he wouldn’t suspect a thing. He didn’t. We actually had him in on the planning of his own party. Asked him for his thoughts on food, drinks, etc. We had all of his best friends, the entire family (minus my sister, oddly enough) over and he walked through the door. SURPRISE! “Dumbasses, I’m not [sister’s name].” He looks around and sees all of his friends, it finally registered. He was so grateful for the awesome party and he had a blast but his initial reaction made it feel like the biggest failure.”

“In high school I was responsible for keeping a friend busy while her parents set everything up at their house for the party. We get back to her house, all lights are off, she walks in the door and announces “I have to take a huge shit!” Lights turn on. “Surprise!” Embarrassment ensues.”

“On my birthday I confessed my love to the girl I was seeing at the time. She shot me down. Bad. I was a husk of my former self.. Just kind of broken. She insisted on hanging around for the next few days saying it was to show she wanted to be my friend still but back then I was too much of a pushover to tell her to leave. On Friday she dragged me to the movies (tangled. A love story of all movies) and I couldn’t figure out what the fuck she was thinking. Turns out she was planning a surprise party with My friends and didn’t want us breaking up to ruin my birthday. I ended up sitting on the couch with My face buried in a pillow for the entire party. I never want to turn 22 again…”

“Female friend of mine threw a surprise party to her boyfriend (4 year relationship) and invited all his close friends and some of her own friends as well. He was at his mum’s place having a mini party with his family whilst we were all waiting at his/hers place where they (couple) would then be supposedly going out for dinner. We had decorated the house with really awesome stuff, brought a DJ to play music and brought really nice food, 3 cakes (1 made by his mum, 1 made by her mum and 1 brought by one of his mates) and quite expensive presents… it was all adding up to an awesome night. The dude then realises that something is going on and after 30 minutes of texting he tells her that she should fuck off since she knows that he hates surprise parties, that he ain’t gonna show up and that he’s gonna go watch a football match instead. He checked himself in on facebook at the match 20 minutes later, ignored everyones calls and messages; and about an hour later (we were waiting and eating some of the food since we weren’t gonna waste all this awesome stuff on this dickhead) he shows up after half the people left and broke up with her. Douche.”

“Buddy of mine set up a surprise party for his fiance. She thought he was off to another state for a week for work. He came back early on her birthday and set up a huge surprise party for her at home. She usually gets home at like 6 p.m. from work and its already like 7 p.m. and we finally hear her coming we turn of the lights, and she comes home hammered with another dude she was going to bang, DRAMA was all over the place. It was a huge chaotic argument, people taking sides. My buddy was really pissed and faked that he was calm and then like a cheetah jumped out of his seat and decked the dude in the face and knocked him out. The guy deserved it he was a pick-up artist and knew she was engaged. She was just a easy catch but still she is at fault and they ended breaking up.”

“When my son was turning 5 he told us he wanted a surprise birthday party. He gave us the entire run down on how it was going to go, and we followed his instructions to give him exactly what he wanted. He had been out with Grandma and when he walked in the door all 40 of us yelled “surprise!” He just sat down on the floor and cried and refused to even stand up. It took us about 20 minutes to calm him down enough to stop crying. Needless to say, we won’t be throwing him any more surprise parties. It was pretty funny though… Maybe that’s how I’ll scar him for life, surprise parties every year!”

“My aunt had setup a surprise 40th birthday party for my uncle. Everyone (about 30 friends, neighbors, relatives) were hiding in the basement waiting for him to come home from work. His car pulls up, he runs to house, everyone yells SURPRISE! and he shits himself. Turns out he had the runs that day and really had to poop. We all had to wait until he got a shower for cake. I was 9 at the time and couldn’t stop laughing.”

“A girl I was dating in high school set up a surprise birthday party for me, but chose to not invite most of my good friends because she didn’t like them. Well, they caught wind of this party and took me out for some drinks instead, as a their own birthday surprise. This was before cell phones, so she didn’t have a way to get in touch with me to make up a reason to get me back to her house. Halfway through the night one of them spills the whole story, and I decide it wise to make a rather-late appearance. It was very awkward walking into a room of her drunken friends, with her crying in the bathroom, needless to say.”

“The person we were throwing the 63rd birthday party for was coming back from a trip with his wife and we (50+ people) were in the back yard with all the decorations set up and food. His wife texted us when they were 5 minutes away and we all gathered to the fence gate where they would soon enter (the fence was about 7 feet tall so you couldn’t see anything over it). When they entered, we all yelled surprise and his face looked like he was about to sneeze, but instead he was having a stroke and ended up in the hospital for the evening. The food was good though.”

“When I was a DJ… The wife planed a 45th surprise birthday party for her husband (rented a banquet hall, a lot of food, maybe about 150 people). The husband walked in, people yelled surprise and he got this shocked look on his face and went off on his wife accusing her of cheating and so on: “IF YOU CAN HOLD THIS A SECRET FROM ME THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE YOUR DOING BEHIND MY BACK…”. A big commotion after that, I packed up and left, no party.”